| | I have a new favorite movie. It's called Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. It really makes me feel a lot less cynical. Maybe. Well, it more so makes me appreciate the progression of relationships, for their good parts and their bad parts. So, I guess, they don't all feel like such abject failures. I suppose I focus too much on the end result of something rather than the enjoyment that happened during the process. At least, when an action has already occurred. I don't know that I could watch that movie without crying. I think it really is a beautiful movie. It kind of makes me appreciate what I have, realtionship-wise, albeit only a little.
Speaking of such, I saw Richard, now that school was out. It was really nice, actually. I haven't seen him in so long. He really changed a lot. Some of it really worried me, but I kept telling myself that I care too much, and that I worried too much. I think that I'm so used to not caring at all that there was a lot of contrast. And, really, as of late, yeah, I hardly care about anything. I am quite possibly the least motivated I have ever been in my entire life. I have all I can do to get up in the morning, brush my teeth, and bathe. I've slept for about twelve hours each day, disturbingly enough. I guess I really was sleep deprived from going to school. Ugh. I'm so glad I don't have to set an alarm and wake up to write a paper. But I kind of miss having something to do. It felt like I was being constructive I guess. And lately, well, it's just been a nagging urge to do something that really hasn't been fulfilled. I won't have to worry about that this fall, though! People have told me that I'm going to crash and burn with my heavy course load. I'll be able to handle it, because I always change to fit the need. In the meantime I need to work on getting myself healthy again.
Aside from that, there really isn't much else to my summer vacation. I have been bored for the first time in ages. And that has led to me playing too many video games, and doing other mind-numbing things. That's not that bad, I guess. But my emotions have been running really strong lately. Particularly when I'm alone, and not doing anything. I was crying a ridiculous amount for a few days. And things have been dramatic too. I like to think that think that some of it really isn't my fault. But other times it clearly is. I kind of just ignore one of the situations really. Ah well. It's kind of hard to keep myself feeling good, but talking to certain people helps. I really hope those people know who they are.
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| | Posted 7/3/2008 12:13 AM - 174 Views - 12 eProps - 15 comments
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